


Go with the flow

by supealavigne



Category: Arashi (Band)
Genre: Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Rape/Non-con Elements
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-19
Updated: 2016-10-19
Packaged: 2018-08-23 11:11:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8325511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supealavigne/pseuds/supealavigne
Summary: Nino was raped.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this more than a year ago, I don't know why it turned out like this lol  
> Please tolerate my bad porn :

“I wonder if there is anyone in this world jerking off thinking about us.”

 

It was a mindless comment made by Ninomiya in a morning they barely had anything to do, just hanging around the green room waiting for a staff to come in and bring them to work. There were only two of Arashi members relaxing in the room. Ninomiya was playing games as usual, and Sakurai was sipping his coffee. He choked on his drink when hearing the words slipping out of his bandmate’s mouth.

 

“Sho-kun, what happened?” Ninomiya didn’t even look up from his DS.

 

“It’s not ‘what happened’,” Sakurai gulped down, “You mentioning something like that simply startles me.”

 

“What about that startles you?” Ninomiya said in a casual tone, “We are guys, I thought this subject is more than normal with us.”

 

“Just, why do you suddenly think so?” Sakurai tried to give out his best normal tone. Ninomiya finally saved his game and looked up at the other.

 

“I have been thinking since yesterday. We are famous, we have thousands of fans, and even more know about us,” he explained, “I was wondering if there is anyone of them masturbating while looking at picture of us or something.”

 

“But our fans are mostly girls-“

 

“Girls masturbate too, you sexist!”

 

Just at that moment, a female staff opened the door with flush all over her face. She stuttered a bit when trying to tell Ninomiya that it was time for him to go. Ninomiya mumbled a ‘sorry’ to her and followed her outside, leaving Sakurai alone in the green room. He let out a sigh of relief when Ninomiya was finally out of sight. He really didn’t want to continue this conversation, especially with Ninomiya.

 

Because he knew at least one who did.

 

\---

 

Sakurai got home later that week, all exhausted from tight schedule from morning till night. He was near to forgetting completely about the weird conversation with Ninomiya. Well, near. Until he received a text from that very person, attached with a photo of him drinking with someone, probably Aiba – he recognized that hand right away. He smiled idiotically at the photo of a Ninomiya giggling uncontrollably, his cheeks painted red and eyes shut close. He looked so drunk, so silly.

 

So sexy.

 

The thought flashed in Sakurai’s mind in a split moment, making him shiver. It was wrong, he knew it was. He was supposed to reply the guy with something, anything. But looking at Ninomiya all drunk like this, the only thing on his mind was sex. In fact, no matter what Ninomiya did, it turned him on to no ends.

 

He got turned on when seeing Ninomiya flirting with other members. He got turned on when watching ‘Gimmick game’ live performance. He even got turned on when Ninomiya wore weird costume on VSA (luckily most of the time they were given at least one size too big pair of pants). Despite his dandy look and the personality he appeared to be on TV, he was a sex freak when it came to Ninomiya Kazunari.

 

That time was no exception. Without even realizing, he had his hand in his pants and started jerking off imagining a drunk Ninomiya underneath him and panting with every move he made. He thought, if he had been there with them and as drunk as them, he didn’t know what kind of humiliation would that be when he unconsciously took advantage of Ninomiya. He didn’t even know if he really liked the guy – he was still into girls – he just found the guy beautiful in a sexual way.

 

Just as he finished his orgasm, he got a phone call. Perfect timing, he rolled his eyes, but received it anyway.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Sho-kun?,” there was an obviously drunk man at the other end, and there was noise. Sakurai immediately realized that voice and mumbled an _Oh shit_ in his throat, “Heeyyyyy… You – hics – you didn’t reply to my t-text.”

 

“I’m sorry, I was taking a shower,” apparently a lie. Sakurai smiled stupidly, not sure if it was because of the post-orgasm state or Ninomiya’s cute randomness when drunk, “What’s the matter?”

 

“I – hics - I’m with Aiba-chan now,” Ninomiya giggled through the telephone line, “Near your place. Wanna come over?”

 

Sakurai was about to refuse the invitation when he heard somebody shouting at the other end, “Nino, you spilled your drink all over meeeee… You’re so drunk – hics… Sho-chan bring him homee.”

 

And Arashi members could never refuse what Aiba asked for.

 

After 15 minutes of driving, he got to the bar and found Ninomiya and Aiba and some friends drinking together. The juniors were sober enough to bring Aiba home, but none of them were willing to take care of a drunk Ninomiya. In fact, Sakurai had never seen Ninomiya this drunk before. They were out drinking several times, but the one who drank more was always him, not this brat. Sakurai let out a sigh and paid for the bill, while trying to lift Ninomiya up. The guy was seriously drunk.

 

“Nino, get yourself together, my car is right there,” and by that Sakurai figured out why the juniors didn’t want to deal with this brat when he was drunk. Ninomiya was known for being extremely flirty but at the same time he separated himself from others behind the camera. Sakurai wondered if the guy knew what he was doing when being clingy like that when being so drunk.

 

“Heyyyyyy Sho-channn, why don’t you – hics – drink with me…”

 

“Stop it Nino, or I will throw you on the street.”

 

“Drink with meee, please pleasee  Sho-chann.”

 

It was difficult to bring Ninomiya to the car all safe and sound. It took them 20 minutes to reach the car parked 30 meters away from the bar. Ninomiya was blabbering a few more minutes and ended up sleeping messily in the front seat. Sakurai sighed heavily, why was he here in the first place. Upon arriving at Ninomiya’s apartment complex, he decided not to wake the man up and silently carried him to his room. There were some people coming home late at night, Sakurai felt embarrassed when one or two of them threw a disgusted look at them – a guy princess-carried another guy. When finally reaching the elevator, Sakurai sighed in relief as they were alone.

 

Suddenly Ninomiya snuggled up and hugged his neck tight, “Sho-chann ~ I love you…~”

 

He knew that it was some unconscious thing and he should never let it bother him, but it was such a turn-on that he could barely ignore. Actually, he felt his pants tented up all the drive to Ninomiya's complex. Feeling him so close like this didn't help anything.

 

He somehow managed to bring the guy to his room without much struggle. Ninomiya lay limp on the bed, apparently unconscious. Sakurai pulled a blanket to cover the drunken body, mind overwhelmed with all kinds of sex scenes.

 

 _No one is here_ , part of him thought.

 

 _But Nino is your very own bandmate_ , another part shouted.

 

 _So what, we do fanservice and stuff on stage all the time_ , the first part barked back.

 

 _But this is sex, and Nino is undoubtedly straight_ , the second one didn't retreat.

 

_I don't give a shit, he is drunk, and he is sleeping, I will leave soon and tomorrow we will be all cool._

 

Despite the other voice in his head kept shouting desperately to stop him, he leaned in and planted a kiss on Nino's lips anyway. At first, he planned to give the man only one peck and then he went home and masturbated thinking about their first kiss. But then he couldn't resist his lust, and the whole thing turned to its worst.

 

Well, he would regret this the morning after, but right then it felt like paradise.

 

He tugged at the poor blanket that was covering Ninomiya's body just a moment ago and started touching all over the undefended torso underneath. The shirt was unbuttoned in a recorded time. Ninomiya barely worked out; it was rare to see the six-pack abs on him. But Sakurai liked it that way. He trailed a kiss along the man's round tummy trying to memorize all the sensation it gave him. Above him, the guy slightly stirred in his sleep, eyebrows furrowed a little bit, but Sakurai couldn't care less.

 

Ninomiya had a strange body-build. He was short and suspiciously small for a man at the age of 30, but somehow his manboobs were squeezable, tiny like teenage girl's breasts. It was damn hot when Sakurai felt the nipples inside his mouth. Ninomiya whined quietly, and Sakurai stole another kiss from him. He took the chance to enter the guy's mouth, tasting the alcohol scent in his breath; he felt like he was even more drunken than the sleeping gamer.

 

"Nino..." Sakurai breathed hotly in the other's mouth.

 

His hand never stopped caressing the half-naked body. He touched here, squeezed there, occasionally gained delicious purr from Ninomiya's mouth. He managed to loosen the gamer's belt and sneaked into his jeans.

 

 _There, there_. Sakurai felt nothing but pleasure building up in his stomach when reaching the other's cock. He pulled the jeans and boxers down almost violently, which made the sleeping man whimper loudly. His private part was all exposed to the older's hungry, lustful eyes.

 

What he did next was clearly rape, and rape was illegal no matter what seemed to be the reason. Ninomiya could wake up anytime and slap him hard, beat him to death, or just simply sue him. They sure loved Arashi with all what they got, but sexual harassment was strictly forbidden in this world, let alone raping. It was his last chance to show his responsibility.

 

But he didn’t.

 

How could he resist it when all what he fantasized about was exposed naked before his very own eyes?

 

He touched and stroked the other’s member with unsure movement at first, but when the first moan escaped Ninomiya’s throat, he lost his mind and took it all in his mouth. It was his first time sucking a cock, of course, but the thing was unexpectedly familiar to him. It felt like heaven when he felt the dick hardening in his mouth. He traced from the base to the tip with his tongue, made sure that each move brought enough pleasure to the man beneath. Ninomiya shivered at the sensation.

 

“Sh- Sho-chan…” The hoarse voice startled Sakurai. He looked up to check if Ninomiya really awoke, but it seemed like he was deep in some sorts of dreams.

 

“Please let me do this to you…” He whispered in the gamer’s ear, “Please let me… make love to you.”

 

There was no lubrication that he could use. He could have stopped. The pain might wake the man up. He could get away with just this. But he did it anyway.

 

The jeans were peeled off the skinny legs. He kissed along the pale thigh, hands pushing the legs up to get him a clearer view of the virgin hole right before him. Drowning in lust, he buried his face in the crack of Ninomiya's ass, tried his hardest to move his tongue into the hole. He tasted the man; it was not hygiene and it didn't smell like rose, but at least Ninomiya always kept himself clean.

 

Above him, Ninomiya couldn't suppress his moans anymore. The room was filled with shameless moans and the sound of wet tongue exploring anus.Finally feeling that the hole was wet enough, Sakurai didn't waste any seconds to push his index finger in.

 

"Nghh... Sho- Sho-chan..."

 

Sakurai didn't dare to kiss those lips with that sinful mouth of his. He licked Ninomiya's left nipple to show that he cared.

 

Another finger made its way into the tight hole. Sakurai was so hard he couldn't bear it anymore. After a few seconds of finger-fucking, he covered his cock with saliva and panted heavily when the head was inside Ninomiya. The petite man arched his back and let out a scream. Just as Sakurai buried his full length in the tiny hole, Ninomiya’s eyes blinked open.

 

"Sho?... Wh- what are you doing?..." Ninomiya stuttered, mind still blurred with alcohol. He didn't know what exactly happened. He just felt his ass burning.

 

Sakurai had lost his ability to think straight. His fantasy just came true. He didn't care about anything any longer. He only cared about the man in his arms, embracing his hot dick with his hole.

 

"I love you." With that, a thrust was made. Ninomiya cried out loud. The pain was unbearable, his body felt like it was torn up.

 

"Sho... Pl- please stop... I ca... Arrghhh..." Ninomiya weeped into Sho's chest. He couldn't form a whole proper sentence when the other kept thrusting into him restlessly.

 

The pain didn't turn into pleasure as quickly as what was described in porn. It fucking hurt. Not until he felt the sensation reach his neglected cock several minutes later did he really feel pleasant.

 

Sakurai did not say a word except for occasional 'Nino' or moans by the time he came inside the man. Ninomiya lay limp on the bed, tears was dry on his red cheeks. He was near to the unconscious state. Only then did Sakurai realize two things: Ninomiya was left untouched and he didn't held onto him when being fucked.

 

The guilty feeling started to build up in his heart when he heard the man sobbing quietly in his throat, due to either the pain or the humiliation. He pulled his softened penis out of the gamer's hole, which made the sob even louder. Ninomiya stayed still when the older helped him with his orgasm; he refused to move even a finger, just stared blankly at the ceiling. The whole thing was too much for his tiny body to digest: The pain in the ass, the fact that he was raped by his own bandmate, the blowjob the man was giving. Sakurai carried him to the bathroom and did the clean-up caringly. Neither of them uttered a single word.

 

When Ninomiya was carried back to bed - of which the drap was changed into a clean one - and covered in blanket, he formed a simple question.

 

"Why?"

 

Even though Sakurai understood what he meant and knew the answer, the situation didn't allow him to tell the guy about the truth of his sexual fantasies. All he could do was to kneel beside the bed and to bow until his head met the floor.

 

"Why did you do this to me?"

 

He could hear a sob in the gamer's voice.

 

"It hurts. It fucking hurts."

 

Sakurai remained silent. His face was lifted up. He expected a slap, a punch, or if Ninomiya was too tired for those physical things, a curse would be good enough.

 

He expected everything, but a kiss.

 

His eyes widened as if the eyeballs were falling out. Ninomiya was kissing him. After all the terrible things he did to him.

 

"Ni..."

 

"I love you," there came an unexpected confession, "For years. And I had to keep it in, by fanservice, by making normal conversations, by not drinking too much in front of you! I love you, I love you so fucking much."

 

Sakurai couldn't close his mouth. It was too much information at once. Ninomiya sighed when he finally realized what he had just done.

 

"It's okay. You must be feeling bad. We are even. Go home. We have work tomorrow."

 

With that, Ninomiya fell back to the warmth of the bed, turned his face to the window. Sakurai couldn't get himself to make even a slightest movement. He was famous for his brilliant brain, but it somehow stopped functioning halfway.

 

"Nino, I'm sorry," that was the first thing he made himself say out loud. He had to, or else things would fall apart.

 

"Don't be," Ninomiya let out a self-pity laugh, "We will never talk about this again. Go home."

 

The next thing he knew was that Ninomiya was held tight in his embrace.

 

"What's wrong, Sakurai?" Ninomiya tried to hold back a sob, "I said go home."

 

"Please, Nino..." Sakurai tightened the grip, "Please let me make up for you."

 

Ninomiya stayed silent.

 

"Please let me take responsibility. Please. Or else you should just sue me. You should tell the truth to the President and I'll be willing to be in jail. You should just call him right-"

 

"NO SAKURAI!" Ninomiya cut with a scream, "I will NOT sue you, and I will not tell this to anybody. Please leave me alone."

 

"Then... What about letting me love you back?"

 

Ninomiya just froze at the words. He was drowned in either alcohol or post-sex state, or both. He couldn't think straight. He couldn't say no. Not to Sakurai. Not at this moment.

 

"I love you. Maybe not as much as you do, but I will try to love you even more than that. I will take care of you. I will make sure that you will be happy from now on. You can ignore me, I deserve it. But please, let me love you," it was Sakurai's turn to give the other no room to argue. Seeing that the man was hesitate, he continued, "I want to love you. And I will with all my being."

 

Ninomiya outright cried into Sakurai's warmth. He didn't know what to feel. He was stunned. The first and only thing that managed to escape his mouth was:

 

"Yes."

 

\---

 

"Good morning, dear," Ninomiya was rubbing his sleepy eyes when he received a kiss on his forehead. Sakurai was trying to make a lovely breakfast for two.

 

"Morning," Ninomiya hadn't been able to get used to this scene yet.

 

It had been about two months since the incident. They became lovers that very night, and in order to take better care of Ninomiya, the older moved into his apartment three days later. It was not that Ninomiya felt uncomfortable, on the contrary, he was worried that Sakurai was the one who felt inconvenient. He had been dying to get a hint of love from Sakurai Sho for three whole years, and just after a sex incident, the guy was there, in his kitchen, burning a toast and panicking about it. Ninomiya chuckled and ran inside giving his boyfriend a helpful hand.

 

Despite being a brat on set, among the five members, Ninomiya was the most Japanese one. He was honest and completely genuine when it came to love. That was why they didn't have sex again after being together. It even took Ninomiya one week to sleep comfortably in the same bed with his lover. Sakurai was miserable with all his fantasies, but he was totally aware that this relationship was not about him. He took the chance to jerk off whenever Ninomiya wasn't home. He felt filthy, but he couldn't do anything better.

 

It was around their three-month anniversary when Ninomiya suddenly became insecure. Tons of questions flooded his mind whenever he was by himself. What if all this relationship thing was not true? What if Sakurai was just trying to make up for him? What if Sakurai would eventually be fed up with this lovey dovey shit? What if Sakurai had never loved him in the first place? _What if Sakurai was just pushing himself?_

The last question made him feel suffocated. He never meant to force Sakurai to make up for him. He minded the rape, of course, but it was because Sakurai did it against his will. He was even willing to give his body away to him if the man asked for it; he couldn't get pregnant anyway. Since it was hopeless for him to confess his worry directly to Sho, he consulted his best friend, no one other than Aiba Masaki.

 

"You know it's nothing to worry about. It's Sho-chan after all," Aiba concluded, "Messy but always loving and caring."

 

"I don't want him to force himself," Ninomiya sipped his drink, "I feel like I am the one who made him love me against his will."

 

"So what? You are a wonderful person," Aiba said matter-of-factly, "Maybe he didn't love you at first, but getting to know you as a lover changes his mind. In fact, it changes anyone's mind. I bet he is now loving you to the fullest."

 

Ninomiya simply nodded at the explanation.

 

"You still don't believe me, do you?" Aiba leaned close to him, breath tickled his face, "He raped you, yes, but no one is dumb enough to take the risk of raping a friend he knows for more than a decade if he doesn't at least like the person. Now go back home and have a desert sex with him; I know you won't pay for the beer."

 

Ninomiya hummed in agreement, then grinned wide and pulled Aiba in for a hug.

 

He arrived home to a frowning Sakurai.

 

"Nino, I heard from Aiba."

 

 _I can't believe you, idiot._ He silently grunted, thinking about punching Aiba Masaki the next time they met.

 

"Can we talk?" Sakurai twined his fingers and continued, "I think it's time to admit the truth."

 

 _What truth? So you really don't love me?_ Ninomiya never vocalized those thoughts. He followed his boyfriend's lead and sat on the couch.

 

"Listen, Nino, I love you. And I loved you even before the incident. But it was quite different from your kind of love," Sakurai rushed on his words, he was afraid that Ninomiya would run from him, "It was, like, sexual fantasies, well, like the topic you brought up a week before the incident."

 

Ninomiya racked his brain to find a bit of memory that contained the data of the conversation. And when he finally realized what it was, he blushed hard.

 

"So you-"

 

"I jerk off thinking about you," Sakurai finished his sentence, which painted the other's cheeks even redder, "It's not like I'm seriously sick or something. It's just, I can't resist your charm. But now, believe me, I love you with all my heart. If you don't like the sex, I will never do it again. If it's for you, I can do anything."

 

Ninomiya tried to catch his breath. Sakurai had finished his speech. They stayed silent for several minutes before Ninomiya finally said, "If it's for you, I can do anything, too."

 

"I don't mind having sex with you; we are dating after all," he caressed the older's face, "I love you, that's all. I feel warm in your arms, that's all."

 

With that, they kissed; a kiss that erased completely whatever was on their minds. The whole universe focused on only one point where their lips brushed against each other. Ninomiya was on top of Sakurai, hands seeking blindly for the older man's buttons and lovingly unbuttoned them one by one. Feeling the sexy movements on his chest, to his surprise, Sakurai didn't feel anything like filthy arousal. The only thing that filled his mind was pure affection. And Ninomiya Kazunari.

 

"You don't know me when I'm actually in bed," Ninomiya naughtily whispered in between the sloppy kiss, "You don't know a thing."

 

"Could you please help me find out?" Sakurai smiled to his heart's content, making his way to caress the other's jawline with his beautiful lips.

 

"My pleasure."

 

He made a mental reminder to thank Aiba Masaki the next time they met.

 


End file.
